Holiday challenges for divorced parents

Holidays can be filled with memories, joy and laughter. Those are the same reasons individuals feel overwhelmed by the holidays after a separation or divorce. The expectations can seem enormous, particularly when you have children.

You aren't alone, if you're a Boston parent experiencing a less-than-merry holiday. For you and your children, nothing can be the same as it once was. Getting through this difficult time means acknowledging the holiday will be different and making the most of the opportunities you have.

Holiday visitations may be preset in a divorce agreement. You'll probably spend less time than you want with your children to accommodate a visitation schedule, but so will your ex. This new pattern of co-parenting may seem strange but with a little planning and some flexibility, you can make sure the children have a positive experience.

You may feel there's a gaping hole in your schedule while the children are with a former spouse. Fill that time with the company of friends and loved ones or venture out on your own to enjoy seasonal pleasures. Take advantage of the time to do things you like doing or focus your energies on satisfying charity projects.

The traditions you once had can change. There's no harm in inventing new traditions to carry you forward into the years ahead. Children also may feel a little disoriented about the holidays, so include them in these new "togetherness" activities.

There are bound to be at least a few times you'll feel unhappy about the holidays. Your feelings are justified. Seek the company of others who make you happy, including family members and friends you don't get to visit regularly.

Attorneys know post-divorce holidays are difficult for clients, but they do pass. Do what you can to make the time memorable. Make plans, think ahead and enjoy the good moments as they come.

Source: The Huffington Post, "8 Tips to Beat the Post Divorce Christmas Blues" Lisa Mark, Dec. 15, 2014